Travelogue by Claudia

6:19 p.m.: Alabama. Adventure!
6:20 p.m.: Little girls fly paper airplanes into my back with messages on them. I don't appreciate it.
6:24 p.m.: Jordan wants to touch a mimosa leaf "SO BAD!" I wonder if this is code for something?
6:30 p.m.: Right now I'd be watching Brian Williams. That reminds me of what mom said about him this moring. She called him a "doll baby". I don't know what that means.
6:31 p.m.: Smith Farms has "over 60 varieties of cheese" and "Amish candy".
6:32 p.m.: 44 mi. from Birmingham. Adventure!
6:44 p.m.: mom is playing a cd with Disney crap on every other track. It makes me wanna bang my head on the window. ADVENTURE!
6:51 p.m. Mom cranks up the Hannah Montana. I cover my ears but the banshee's screeches still make it into my ears.
6:53 p.m.: Now that 9 minute long Don McClean song is on.
6:54 p.m.: a house is on fire in the woods. Also, mom wants some pork barbeque "Reeeeeel Bad!"
7:33 p.m.: just got done eating BBQ. As Rachel Ray would say: "yummo!"
7:36 p.m.: Mom proposed that James get her name tatooed on him somewhere.
7:40 p.m.: We're in Birmingham.
7:41: Hooter's Billboard Counter: 3
8:07 p.m.: We just pased a large cloud of mist. It was kinda creepy.
8:50 p.m.: I just saw a billboard for Outback Steakhouse. I didn't know Alabama had bloomin' onion technology.
8:53 p.m.: the lightening is scaring me. I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared.
10:24 p.m. We got to Mississippi a while ago. Stopped for gas. Lots of rednecky people. Mom calls them "interesting clientel."
11:02 p.m. Me and James are keepin' an eye out for the mothman and the sasquatch. Mom just informed us that we're heading toward where Jamie Lynn Spears lives. I'll keep an eye out for babies in the road.
11:53 p.m. We stopped at at gas station. James and I went in to get mom twinkies. They don't have real twinkies, they had Mrs. Freshley's twinkies. mom refuses to eat off-brand twinkies. The town's newspaper calls the mentally challenged "retarded people". James and I still aren't sure what a doll baby is.
12:07 a.m. Adventure.
12:11 a.m. I want to go to Waffle House.
12:14 a.m. Mississippi has an O'Charley's. How bland.
12:54 a.m. Mom proposes that I get prescription sunglasses. I think they might make me look like Richard Belzer.
12:56 a.m. Me and James are still on mothman patrol.

Day 2: Lousiana

12:17 p.m.: We're going to Galveston.
12:21 p.m.: Adventure!
12:30 p.m.: Mom said, "ascared of."
12:38 p.m.: crossing the Mississippi River. Mom says, "it's VERY important that you look at it, children".
12:40 p.m.: I'm eating a cookie. Adventure!
3:43 p.m.: We are back on the road afer eating cajun food. Or, as I like to call it, James Carville food.
4:02 p.m.: Fierce! Traffic.
4:07 p.m.: I wish I had a small pet dinosaur.
4:56 p.m.: Out of traffic. It was a hot tranny mess.